Encouraging others.

We've all been down at some point (or more) in our lives. Then, THAT  person comes over, gives you a hug, cries with you, and tells you you are loved, and you are needed. THAT person makes all the difference in the world to a hurting soul. THAT person is a true friend, a true servant of God. THAT is the kind of friend the Bible wants us to have, and to be.

About a year ago, the hurting soul was me.  A lady very dear to me from my church came over, and she asked me a question that just made me break down crying. She asked “Kathy, how are you handling these changes?” You see, she wasn't being judgmental, she was being sincere, loving, and concerned.  She asked about what she knew was a painful experience. She asked some painful questions, knowing there’d be painful answers. She offered her shoulder to cry on… and she cried with me. It would have been easier for me to NOT talk about painful situations, and therefore not go to people for help. She came to me. She knew I needed comfort, and she knew I needed a friend. THAT lady made a difference because she stepped forward to be the kind of friend the Bible says we should be.  The Bible tells us that “Iron sharpeneth Iron”. When we are following the leading of the Holy Spirit, He allows us to see things we never would have. He allows us to help others in ways we never thought we could.  He allows us to be the kind of person He wants us to be, the kind of friend we need to be to others.

The Bible clearly tells us we need to encourage each other. I've shared the importance of friendships here. I can’t write enough how important the right kind of friends are. Not only will they help us decide to do the right things in life, but they will encourage us. They will help us back up when we have fallen, and when we feel like we have no more strength to stand.

She gave her hand. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 says - “Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” We all have times when we feel “down”. Maybe we feel useless? hurt? Lonely? A true friend gives their hand to help you back up.  The Bible tells us our hearts are deceitful, and desperately wicked. (Jeremiah 17:9). We need our friends to help us when our own hearts deceive us. Proverbs 27:19  tells us “As in water face answereth to face, so the heart of man to man.” We NEED people to help us, to be our accountability partners.  In Proverbs 27:17 we read - “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.” We NEED friends to give their hand. Our friends are who will sharpen us if we want to become sharper. (on the contrary, our wrong friends and influences will do the opposite.)

She gave her heart. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 says - “Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.” We live in a day of constant pain. If we’re not in pain, someone around us is. The pains of this life seem to be relentless.  A true friend will have enough compassion to give their heart to their friends. To hurt with them, to pray for them, and to listen. (NOT gossip- NEVER go to anyone about a problem unless you are going to the other person who’s a part of the problem! Gossip leads to corruption in every possible way. ) In Proverbs 27:6 we read “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” Sometimes, the words of a true friend will be painful. If a friend is concerned for you, she will tell you. It’s part of being a friend, and the “threefold cord” that’s nearly unbreakable. Oftentimes, people get offended by the truth from their friend, but we shouldn't. Proverbs 18:24 - “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. Obviously, we can’t talk about giving our hearts without giving love. In 1 Peter Chapter 4: 8-10, we read: And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins. Use hospitality one to another without grudging. As every man hath received the gift, even so minister the same one to another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God."  Love covers a multitude of sins.  A friend will always give their heart, and their love, even when you choose to make the wrong choices in life. Proverbs 17:17 - “A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” A true friend will love at all times. They will give you their heart, even if it hurts them.

She gave her honesty. In Hebrews Chapter 10: 24-25, the Bible says: “And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching. Giving honesty may be painful for both the giver and the receiver of that honesty, but we need to be honest as friends.  I’m not saying we need to be nagging friends at all - that never does any good. Friends need honesty though. We will have friends that make bad choices, and then come to us for help. Our job as a friend is not to say “I warned you" or "I told you so.” Remember, a friend will also give her hand to help her friend up. Proverbs 27:9 - Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so doth the sweetness of a man's friend by hearty counsel.   

Sometimes, friends need to ask the difficult questions. It’s our job as friends to BE friends (NOT gossipers- there's a Major difference). When my friend I mentioned earlier came to me. We didn't talk about anyone else. We talked about me, my struggles, my feelings of uncertainty. It wasn't a selfish conversation about me, it was a controlled conversation. She encouraged me. She reminded me that God is in control of every situation, including mine. A friend can can give their hands, heart, and honesty in a way that pleases God. It brings honor to Him when we do things decently, and in order. Friends need to give their hands, their hearts, and their honesty. The combinations of these brings honor to God, strengthens a friendship, as well as encourages the person who needs encouragement.