Encouraging others.

We've all been down at some point (or more) in our lives. Then, THAT  person comes over, gives you a hug, cries with you, and tells you you are loved, and you are needed. THAT person makes all the difference in the world to a hurting soul. THAT person is a true friend, a true servant of God. THAT is the kind of friend the Bible wants us to have, and to be.

About a year ago, the hurting soul was me.  A lady very dear to me from my church came over, and she asked me a question that just made me break down crying. She asked “Kathy, how are you handling these changes?” You see, she wasn't being judgmental, she was being sincere, loving, and concerned.  She asked about what she knew was a painful experience. She asked some painful questions, knowing there’d be painful answers. She offered her shoulder to cry on… and she cried with me. It would have been easier for me to NOT talk about painful situations, and therefore not go to people for help. She came to me. She knew I needed comfort, and she knew I needed a friend. THAT lady made a difference because she stepped forward to be the kind of friend the Bible says we should be.  The Bible tells us that “Iron sharpeneth Iron”. When we are following the leading of the Holy Spirit, He allows us to see things we never would have. He allows us to help others in ways we never thought we could.  He allows us to be the kind of person He wants us to be, the kind of friend we need to be to others.

The Bible clearly tells us we need to encourage each other. I've shared the importance of friendships here. I can’t write enough how important the right kind of friends are. Not only will they help us decide to do the right things in life, but they will encourage us. They will help us back up when we have fallen, and when we feel like we have no more strength to stand.

She gave her hand. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 says - “Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” We all have times when we feel “down”. Maybe we feel useless? hurt? Lonely? A true friend gives their hand to help you back up.  The Bible tells us our hearts are deceitful, and desperately wicked. (Jeremiah 17:9). We need our friends to help us when our own hearts deceive us. Proverbs 27:19  tells us “As in water face answereth to face, so the heart of man to man.” We NEED people to help us, to be our accountability partners.  In Proverbs 27:17 we read - “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.” We NEED friends to give their hand. Our friends are who will sharpen us if we want to become sharper. (on the contrary, our wrong friends and influences will do the opposite.)

She gave her heart. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 says - “Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.” We live in a day of constant pain. If we’re not in pain, someone around us is. The pains of this life seem to be relentless.  A true friend will have enough compassion to give their heart to their friends. To hurt with them, to pray for them, and to listen. (NOT gossip- NEVER go to anyone about a problem unless you are going to the other person who’s a part of the problem! Gossip leads to corruption in every possible way. ) In Proverbs 27:6 we read “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” Sometimes, the words of a true friend will be painful. If a friend is concerned for you, she will tell you. It’s part of being a friend, and the “threefold cord” that’s nearly unbreakable. Oftentimes, people get offended by the truth from their friend, but we shouldn't. Proverbs 18:24 - “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. Obviously, we can’t talk about giving our hearts without giving love. In 1 Peter Chapter 4: 8-10, we read: And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins. Use hospitality one to another without grudging. As every man hath received the gift, even so minister the same one to another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God."  Love covers a multitude of sins.  A friend will always give their heart, and their love, even when you choose to make the wrong choices in life. Proverbs 17:17 - “A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” A true friend will love at all times. They will give you their heart, even if it hurts them.

She gave her honesty. In Hebrews Chapter 10: 24-25, the Bible says: “And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching. Giving honesty may be painful for both the giver and the receiver of that honesty, but we need to be honest as friends.  I’m not saying we need to be nagging friends at all - that never does any good. Friends need honesty though. We will have friends that make bad choices, and then come to us for help. Our job as a friend is not to say “I warned you" or "I told you so.” Remember, a friend will also give her hand to help her friend up. Proverbs 27:9 - Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so doth the sweetness of a man's friend by hearty counsel.   

Sometimes, friends need to ask the difficult questions. It’s our job as friends to BE friends (NOT gossipers- there's a Major difference). When my friend I mentioned earlier came to me. We didn't talk about anyone else. We talked about me, my struggles, my feelings of uncertainty. It wasn't a selfish conversation about me, it was a controlled conversation. She encouraged me. She reminded me that God is in control of every situation, including mine. A friend can can give their hands, heart, and honesty in a way that pleases God. It brings honor to Him when we do things decently, and in order. Friends need to give their hands, their hearts, and their honesty. The combinations of these brings honor to God, strengthens a friendship, as well as encourages the person who needs encouragement.

The Storms of Life

I hate storms... most of the time. They are creepy. However, every now and then, I can see past their creepiness and be reminded how amazing they are. They are a reminder to me just how powerful God is. There’s so many different kinds of storms I’m not even going to mention, but they all reflect God’s awesomeness and power. Rain Storms can range from a light sprinkling of rain that’s gentle enough to water the seedlings to a treacherous typhoon that knocks whole cities out with one swoop.  What a reflection of God! This is how He wants us to view Him- Gentle and loving, yet powerful.  

The hard reality of life, is that storms are good for us. The trees, grass, flowers and other plants need the storms. Just like the plants and animals need weather storms to feed them and make them stronger, we need the painful storms in our lives to do the same.  We all have to face different storms through the different seasons of our lives. It’s nearly impossible during a storm to think “this is good for me”. Surprisingly though, when our storm passes, we can look back and say “that was hard, but it made me stronger”.  We tend to remember the painful storms...forever. They shaped us into who we are today.

During a recent storm in my life (ironically, there was also a storm outside), God reminded me of something precious. I was inside my house, looking out at the rain storm pouring down. I was surrounded by a storm, but I was safe. It gave me a picture of God holding me in His hands, keeping me safe during this storm. He’s promised to never leave me, or forsake me. ( I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. Hebrews 13:5) I’m safe in His hands, despite whatever painful storm may be surrounding me.

There are several storms mentioned in the Bible. Jesus is ALWAYS in control of the storm, whether He’s in it or not.  We’re reminded about this in the story of the Maniac of Gadara in the Book of Mark:

Mark 4: 35 - Mark 5: 20

And the same day, when the even was come, he saith unto them, Let us pass over unto the other side.  And when they had sent away the multitude, they took him even as he was in the ship. And there were also with him other little ships. And there arose a great storm of wind, and the waves beat into the ship, so that it was now full. And he was in the hinder part of the ship, asleep on a pillow: and they awake him, and say unto him, Master, carest thou not that we perish? And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. And he said unto them, Why are ye so fearful? how is it that ye have no faith?  And they feared exceedingly, and said one to another, What manner of man is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him? Chapter 5  And they came over unto the other side of the sea, into the country of the Gadarenes. And when he was come out of the ship, immediately there met him out of the tombs a man with an unclean spirit, Who had his dwelling among the tombs; and no man could bind him, no, not with chains:  Because that he had been often bound with fetters and chains, and the chains had been plucked asunder by him, and the fetters broken in pieces: neither could any man tame him.  And always, night and day, he was in the mountains, and in the tombs, crying, and cutting himself with stones. But when he saw Jesus afar off, he ran and worshipped him, And cried with a loud voice, and said, What have I to do with thee, Jesus, thou Son of the most high God? I adjure thee by God, that thou torment me not. For he said unto him, Come out of the man, thou unclean spirit. And he asked him, What is thy name? And he answered, saying, My name is Legion: for we are many. And he besought him much that he would not send them away out of the country. Now there was there nigh unto the mountains a great herd of swine feeding.  And all the devils besought him, saying, Send us into the swine, that we may enter into them. And forthwith Jesus gave them leave. And the unclean spirits went out, and entered into the swine: and the herd ran violently down a steep place into the sea, (they were about two thousand;) and were choked in the sea. And they that fed the swine fled, and told it in the city, and in the country. And they went out to see what it was that was done. And they come to Jesus, and see him that was possessed with the devil, and had the legion, sitting, and clothed, and in his right mind: and they were afraid.  And they that saw it told them how it befell to him that was possessed with the devil, and also concerning the swine.  And they began to pray him to depart out of their coasts.  And when he was come into the ship, he that had been possessed with the devil prayed him that he might be with him.  Howbeit Jesus suffered him not, but saith unto him, Go home to thy friends, and tell them how great things the Lord hath done for thee, and hath had compassion on thee. And he departed, and began to publish in Decapolis how great things Jesus had done for him: and all men did marvel.

We can learn a lot from this.

1. God is in control of the storm- whether we see His hand or not. The disciples knew God was in the ship with them. Maybe the “out of sight out of mind” concept applied to them, (who knows?). They didn't turn to Jesus for help until it was almost too late. Their ship was so full of water, it was about to sink. Then, and only then did they turn to Jesus for help. Then, and only then did Jesus rebuke the storm- and it ceased. God doesn't want to be our “last resort” to the storms we face. Storms are scary. Storms are hard. He wants us to be clinging to Him the whole time, because really, He’s holding us the whole time.

2. God will keep us safe during the storm- even when it’s hard to believe it. Sometimes, we get the mindset that we shouldn't have any storms in our lives because, really, why would a loving, tender, kind God give us storms? Maybe we feel like we've had enough storms in our lives to have an easy rest of our life- really- can we handle one more storm? Maybe we can’t handle another storm, but God can. Remember- He’s in charge of the storms. He controls the storms, and He keeps us safe during the storms. He’s holding onto us.

3. God has a reason for the storm- even though we may not understand it. God always sees the whole picture. We only see pieces of it. Jesus knew what was on the other side of the water. Jesus knew there was a man that needed Him. Jesus needed to cross the storm to get to the demon possessed man. At the end of the parable, we read that all men marveled at what God had done. God needs to be so powerful in our lives, that men marvel- not at us, but at how God has been at work in our lives. He should be what people see when they see us.

Storms of life happen. Yes, they are painful. Yes, they are scary. But God is always in control of every storm we face in life. He is holding onto us through the storm, and He has a reason for the storm, even if we don’t see it yet. Someday, we may be able to look at our past storms, and see how God’s hand was moving in our lives, to teach us, to protect us, and to make His power known. Don’t run from the storms God has for us. Trust Him.

Communication is Vital

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”    ― George Bernard Shaw

Too many people are fighting these days. It's insane. Don't get me wrong, I know arguments will happen- we're all human. But until people can learn how to communicate, and communicate effectively, nothing will be adequately solved. My dad taught me at a young age the importance of communication. He realized it’s necessity because of how much he had lacked it in his relationships.  It wasn't until I married my husband, I realized how right my dad was: communication is absolutely essential for a marriage to work. Recently, I've learned how essential it is in every successful relationship, including the work force, between children, in ministry, with friends, it’s needed everywhere.  

We live in a day in age where we are so worried we will offend someone if we tell them the truth, so we simply do not tell them anything. It’s destroying our relationships- all of them.  When communication is lacking, it’s our human nature to assume. Henry Winkler was right when he said: “Assumptions are the termites of relationships.” However, when communication is present, there is no room for questions, there’s no room for assumptions, and there’s no room for relational termites.

The definition of communication is "the imparting or interchange of thoughts, opinions, or information by speech, writing, or signs."   The Bible even talks about communication. In Ephesians 4:29, we read- Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.  This is often the verse we go to when we don’t want to tell somebody something is wrong, when we don’t want to communicate. We worry we might hurt someone with the truth, so we just don’t tell them. The definition for the word corrupt is: “guilty of dishonest practices, as bribery; lacking integrity; crooked: debased in character; depraved; perverted; wicked; evil” We’re not supposed to have evil, corrupt communication come out of our mouths. Simple. We are supposed to be encouraging. Simple. We forget however, that we are supposed to help our friends become better, and more like Christ. We are reminded of this in Proverbs 27:17 - “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.” We’re supposed to help each other, to communicate, to love, and edify each other. This is not done unless there is communication.

The Bible says in Colossians 4:6 - Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.  Our words need to be good words, helpful, encouraging words, but they also need to be truthful. There are few things more powerful than the truth, spoken with grace, and done tastefully. On the contrary, there are few things LESS tasteful, than the lack of truth, containing no grace, and done hurtfully. People remember how communication is handled, or how it is overlooked. If we are going to be influential people, we HAVE to learn how to communicate Biblically.  

Matthew 12:35 reminds us that “A good man out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things: and an evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth evil things.”  When you have the right heart, your conversations, your communications will be done correctly. We need to constantly check our hearts, and ask God to make sure we have the fruits of the spirit with us. Colossians 3:8 tells us some characteristics we should not have in our communication - “But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth.”  Doing, and saying the right things is not always easy, but it’s the absolute best way for our communication to be given, and received correctly.

Before you become afraid to ever talk again, I wanted to share with you some verses about communication. In Psalms 55:14, The Bible says - “We took sweet counsel together, and walked unto the house of God in company.” When we are in good company, communicating correctly, our conversations will be sweet, and Godly. Luke 24:14-15 tells us “And they talked together of all these things which had happened. And it came to pass, that, while they communed together and reasoned, Jesus himself drew near, and went with them.”  We’re supposed to talk to each other. We're supposed to have good, Godly friends.  When we have the kind of communication we are supposed to, the Bible says God will be with us. In Malachi 3:16 The Bible says “Then they that feared the LORD spake often one to another: and the LORD hearkened, and heard it, and a book of remembrance was written before him for them that feared the LORD, and that thought upon his name.”  Communication is VITAL to every relationship. It needs to be done frequently, and it needs to be done correctly. Communication needs to be in every single relationship- at home, at work, in ministry, everywhere, so as not to let the termites of assumption eat away, and destroy our relationships.

Choosing Friends Wisely

“In ten years, you will be the exact same person you are today, except for the friends you keep, the books you read, the movies you watch and the music you listen to.”  That thought was drilled into me at the Bible college I went to years ago.

Wow… That’s a powerful statement.

Wow. That’s a true statement.

Think about your last ten years. What kind of friends have you had? How has your life been changed because of those friends? More than likely, (if you hadn’t already before), you have started to be more like those friends. Your interests may have shifted, even slightly. Maybe you’ve “come out of your shell” a little? Maybe, you’ve “pulled away” more? Everything we do, we do for a reason. We have something, or someone driving us.

The thought of choosing friends wisely has been on my heart for the last several weeks. My 6 year old son's Christian school is closing at the end of this school year. I’m officially terrified about our family’s educational future. You see, I went to public school from kindergarten through 12th grade. I saw all the different “groups” school had 15 years ago. I had to choose which group I was going to be in. I vividly remember having specific friends one year, and the following year, I wasn’t close to them anymore. They choose a path, and I choose a different path. Life is full of choices. The friends you choose today will shape the rest of your life.  My 6 year old son likes to play. He plays hard, (and all of his pants show a hole in the knee because of it.)  Because his mindset is on “play”, he doesn’t have the discernment to realize some kids may not be good kids to play with. He doesn’t think that way. He thinks of one thing: “PLAY”!   He doesn’t judge character yet, it comes with time. But I realized something recently. I need to start teaching my kids more fervently about character, and choosing friends with good character.. because after, all, their friends will make or break them.

Let’s look at what the Bible says about choosing the right kind of friends- the ones with character.

We need to be friendly in order to have friends. Proverbs 18:24 - A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. This is a key part to choosing friends. We want to not only choose friendly friends, but we want to BE friendly friends. The saying “we attract what we are” is true. If we are friendly, we will be drawn to friendly people. Friendly people are loving, joyous, peaceful, longsuffering, gentle, good, faithful, meek, temperate. Do these sound familiar? They are the fruits of the Spirit. If we are going to be selective in our friendship, and choose the right kinds of friends, we also need to realize the characteristics we need to possess.

We need to be selective about our friends. Encouraging, helpful friends are vital. Proverbs 13:20 - He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed. Proverbs 22:24-25 - Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul. The Bible clearly tell that foolish friends will destroy us. 1 Corinthians 15:33 - Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.This verse has been on my mind more than others. My husband and I have worked hard to teach our children good manners, good attitudes, and doing the right thing. It doesn’t take much effort for those good manners to be corrupted by a bad friend.  

It’s important as adults for us to choose our friends wisely, and It’s equally important to teach our children how to choose their friends wisely. 2 Corinthians 6:14 - Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? We see this verse often in reference to marriage, but it’s just as important in friendships. We should not have close friends who do no not have the same values as us. Don’t get me wrong, I believe in the Great Commission, and trying to warn people about hell. I believe Heaven is real, and we can all go there if we’ve accepted Christ as our Saviour. I do believe, however, that our close friends will change us, and therefore, we need to be very selective with who we associate with. Proverbs 14:6-7 - A scorner seeketh wisdom, and findeth it not: but knowledge is easy unto him that understandeth. Go from the presence of a foolish man, when thou perceivest not in him the lips of knowledge. After we are around someone for any length of time, we learn who they are. If they are not who we should be, we should not spend more time with them. It’s a simple concept. A hard concept to follow through with, but something we should all remember.

We need to be willing to tell a friend when they are wrong. They will make us, and we will make them. Communication is crucial in every relationship- including friendships. There are some hard conversations we need to have sometimes, but…. they are the most important ones.  Proverbs 27:17 - Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend. Sometimes, in our human nature, we make bad choices. Those choices, if not corrected, can affect the rest of our lives. There may be only a few, close friends you would listen to if they told you that you were making a bad decision. Those are the friends you need. Proverbs 17:17 - A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. We are human, we make bad choices, we fall, we get back up. Life truly is an adventure. We need to have the kind of friends that will still love us when we fall, that will love us when we fly, and that will encourage us to always do the right thing. Proverbs 27:5-6 - Open rebuke is better than secret love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.  Have you ever had a friend tell you the truth, even though it was hard to hear it? That’s the kind of friend we need to be. We do have to remember, however, that the right thing, said at the wrong time, is still not right.

The Parenting Roller Coaster

You read that right. It's a roller coaster. Don't get me wrong. I absolutely LOVE being a mother, I LOVE having three little people depend on me. I LOVE seeing three people develop into the person they were created to be... but this role- as a parent is a roller coaster. Sometimes, it feels like a constant roller coaster. We are however, commanded to do our very best at everything we do- including riding this parenting roller coaster.  

It’s a Spiritual Roller Coaster.

Sometimes, It seems as though I'm succeeding at my role, and my children are blossoming. Other times, I wonder "where did I go wrong?". The truth is The Bible clearly says in Proverbs 22:15 "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him."  Just like adults, every child has strengths and weaknesses. We often put an, expectation on kids and expect them all to act the same, to be perfect, to learn the same, to control their behavior. In Proverbs 22:6, the Bible says "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."  IN THE WAY HE SHOULD GO.  Just like we are all made with different abilities, we are all made for a different purpose- a different goal in life. God has a plan for every person. We aren't supposed to force kids to be a mold of someone's ideal child. We are supposed to encourage and help them become what they should... in the the way he should go.  

It’s an Emotional Roller Coaster.

There have been times I've had to deal with the consequences of my children making the wrong decisions. It's not fun, it's not pretty, it's actually quite hard. Kids have the astonishing ability to become stubborn at an insanely young age. I don't necessarily believe stubbornness is a bad thing. It can be quite a good characteristic in an adult, but as  parents we can't stand it in our kids.

It’s a Physical Roller Coaster.

The constant ups and downs of chasing after kids, playing with kids, pushing them higher on the swing… it’s draining on one’s body!  Throw in practices, games, play dates, etc. and by the end of the day I crash. I crash hard. My husband always teases me because I could literally fall asleep anywhere. It doesn't matter where I am, if I’m tired, I can sleep. Maybe it’s a gift? Maybe it’s a curse? I really don’t know… but I do know that this job of parenting full time is exhausting… and it’s a roller coaster. There are good days, and unfortunately, there are bad days. I have days I feel awesome about, and days I feel terrible about.

God doesn't expect us to be perfect. God doesn't expect us to succeed all the time. God does however expect us to give Him our best.  Colossians 3:23-24 - And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;  1 Corinthians 10:31 - Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.

Standing Still... Through the Pain

I love reading (although I never have a lot of time for it), so when I get the chance to read… I’m all over it! I recently read an article about having a “Pain Plan”. It sounds kinda crazy that someone would actually PLAN for pain, but the reality of it is simple. Pain happens. Pain is unavoidable. The article talks about how horrible pain really is, but despite it being a terrible thing to endure, it’s an amazing teacher. Pain happens, and we should be somewhat prepared to face it. Obviously, we will never be able to see too far ahead into our future. that’s not our job. Yes, pain teaches us. At the same time, our own pain that may hurt so deep, can also teach others as well. I've always tried to learn from other people and their pain, in the hopes I wouldn't have to go through some of the same trials.  

I was reminded recently how sharing our painful experiences may help other people. Our trials, our struggles, and how we face them may be the encouragement someone else needs to hear so they can face their own struggles. We've become people who are so concerned about what other people may think of us, that we are not willing to share some of our own personal struggles for fear of being judged, unaccepted, or unloved. In reality, there is not one single person who is perfect, who’s reached the stage of perfection here on this earth…  

Our perception of circumstances is greatly changed by the circumstances we have 1)personally been through 2)watched/ heard others go through. So, with these thoughts, I want to share some things God has been teaching me through pain. When we've been hurt in the past, we by nature, try to guard ourselves against a similar, painful experience. For instance, my husband and I worked in a church years ago. We loved (and still love) the people. We were loved and needed, we were useful.  After a few years, their children came back to work with them, and we really were no longer needed. We were not really even useful. God moved us to a different location. It was a very painful time. Leaving, letting go, and then adjusting into a new ministry. After several years at our new location, fear of our past circumstances came back. I was worried we were no longer needed, and that we were no longer useful. Pain is a powerful thing. Fear is a powerful thing. Together, they are a bad combination.  Fear of the unknown is not something God wanted us to have: Joshua 1:9 - Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.

I had to come to a point in my life, despite the pain, despite the fear of the future, that God was in control. Even IF we were no longer needed, no longer useful, I needed to to my very best to serve God, not men. When I was able to put the feelings of uselessness aside (trust me, it was not, and still, even sometimes, is not easy!), God was able to use me in a way I never thought I could be used.  Yes, it was extremely painful for several months feeling like I was useless, and like I had been replaced… but that’s not at all what God had intended and planned for me. He had something AMAZING for me to do. I needed to “Stand Still” for a bit, so He could open my eyes for what He had planned. There are several verses in the Bible where we are reminded to wait for the Lord, to wait for His leading in our lives. Lamentations 3:25 - The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.  Psalms 27:14 - Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.

God may have you in a very similar situation. You may be hurt, you may be afraid of something, you may be worn and weary. He wants you to “Stand Still”, despite the pain or fear you’re in so He can be glorified in other ways. It’s not easy… in fact it’s quite difficult for many of us to simply stand still and wait for God. He has a plan for our lives. He is in fact in control. Romans 8:28 - And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to [his] purpose.

Are you Riding a Roller Coaster or a Train?

The other night, I was sitting down with my husband, discussing the events of the last few days. I was explaining some of my feelings, and how literally- I feel like sometimes, my life is an emotional roller coaster. There’s emotional highs, and there’s emotional lows I deal with. Then, I asked him how he seems to manage to stay so calm during the roller coaster we are on. He kinda chuckled, and blurted out- “I’m not riding a roller coaster- I’m riding a train! A steady train... Sometimes the train goes up the mountain a little, and sometimes it goes down… but all the while, I’m just chugging along.”

He’s a much more stable person than me. He’s my rock. He’s my hero. Two very different people- and two very different perspectives taking us through life. I ride a roller coaster, but he rides a train. I've never ridden a train, but I've ridden my fair share of roller coasters. They are a blast. They are a lot of fun, and they completely wear you out after a couple rides. They jerk you around, make your stomach feel as though it’s going to come out of your throat, send you screaming down a deep dive, through a loop, just to catch your breath and start again. Like I said, roller coasters are a lot of fun… but they can leave a person to feel drained.

It's the same with the emotional roller coasters we ride through life.  Climbing the hills- yes, it’s fun, and even barreling downhill is fun… but it’s not steady. It’s not consistent.  Then.. the bottom. The bottom always comes eventually. It’s the worst part of a roller coaster- the least fun. You can often catch your breath… but you never want to stay at the bottom of the roller coaster. The bottom of the roller coaster is depressing.

My conversation with him that night brought a favorite Bible verse of mine to my mind.

“Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.” I Corinthians 15:58

We know there are spiritual mountains, and even spiritual valleys in our lives. This is unavoidable. Circumstances change, bad things often happen, causing us to feel like we are in a spiritual valley. It will change- God promises us that.

“But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.  God gives us victory.” - I Corinthians 15:57

A train is much more steadfast than a roller coaster. If we get, and keep the mindset of riding a train stead of a roller coaster, our lives will be much more stable. They will be much more solid in the Lord than the emotional roller coaster we often climb onto. Be Steadfast… Always abounding in the work of the Lord.

Finding Rest

Studies show rest is important… actually it’s vital to our well being.  Not surprisingly then, we also find verses in the Bible encouraging us to rest.  God knows our bodies can only handle limited stress, limited strain, limited… well, everything.  

Often in our busy lives, we let the stresses of our days inhibit the joy our lives are supposed to contain. God makes it clear to us that He wants us to trust Him. He wants us to rely on Him. He wants us to set our fears, our stresses, our everything aside and find rest in Him.

As humans, we get weak, we get weary, and we struggle on a daily basis. God knows us, He knows our weaknesses, He knows our strengths. but He wants us to trust in Him, and rest. We find several verses in the Bible where God reminded his people to rest.

Isaiah 40:28-31 “Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding. He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.”

Exodus 33:14 - “And he said, My presence shall go with thee, and I will give thee rest.”

Matthew 11:28-30 - “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”   

Matthew 11:29 - “Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.”

Psalms 4:8 - “I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, LORD, only makest me dwell in safety.”

Psalms 127:2 - “It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep.”

Over, and over again in the Bible, we are reminded by God to rest. When we are not rested, we make bad choices, we make mistakes, we are simply not being the best we can for God… all because we have not followed His simple command to rest.  

Changing Perspective.

We've heard the saying “There’s at least two sides to every argument.” Every person has a slightly different perspective. It’s easy for us to think “I’m right, they are wrong.” Maybe even go a little deeper emotionally and think “I've been hurt by them, they have done me wrong.” Just like the saying goes- there's always another perspective.

When we take the Biblical approach to these situations, we find something very important.

Philippians 2:3-4  - “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.”

Proverbs 18:17 - “He that is first in his own cause seemeth just; but his neighbour cometh and searcheth him.”

God doesn't want us to wallow in our own agony, in our own hurt, and become bitter. He wants us to consider the perspective of the other individual(s). When our perspective shifts off of ourselves, and onto the other person, our hearts change as well.

Galatians 6:2 - “Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.”

Romans 15:1-3 - “We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves.”

We cannot possibly bear one another’s burdens unless we consider their perspective. God wants us to have compassion for other people. It starts with our own hearts. We cannot be compassionate towards others until we have considered their perspective, and allow that perspective to soften our hearts.

I have to consistently (literally, several times a day), ask God for another perspective so that my heart can be changed, and softened instead of becoming bitter and hard. It’s a daily struggle for me. It’s likely a daily struggle for you too. It’s not easy to put other people first. In fact, it’s quite difficult. It is however worth it to not have the bitterness built up by being selfish.

John 16:24 “Hitherto have ye asked nothing in my name: ask, and ye shall receive, that your joy may be full.”

Going Nuts

“Going Nuts”

We are NUTS!

If you aren't willing to admit already “BEING NUTS”, maybe you’re willing to admit “GOING NUTS”. We are all different from each other. We look different, we talk different, we are everything different.

I had this whole plan to tell you ladies that “it’s OKAY” to be nuts. but...

Unfortunately… when I shared my idea with Steve, he said “Kathy… what verses are you going to use from the Bible?”  Surprise, Surprise, I couldn't answer him! I had no verses telling me it was okay to be NUTS… to be crazy! (I wanted to cry… seriously… It was a sad day for me. I realized I couldn't keep being Nuts!) The Bible doesn't tell us it’s okay to be nuts. In fact, God’s word tells l us the complete opposite. God wants us to rely on Him, and not focus on the circumstances around us, despite how crazy we feel they will make us.

There’s always going to be things in life that bother us:

• People, habits people have, children, lack of children, lack of people,
• situations, a dirty car
• lack of finances,
• lack of a clean house, lack of living space
• lack of sleep, motherhood, grand-motherhood,  etc.
• Health Problems
• OURSELVES

There’s an old quote I heard as a teenager that says.

“We can please some of the people, some of the time, but we can’t please all of the people all of the time.”

For me, the hardest person to please is myself. I’ve always had crazy high expectations for myself, and when the reality of life slaps me  in the face… I let myself down. I begin to feel like a complete failure in almost every area of my life. This makes me feel like I’m going to go NUTS!  I’ve recently come to (A SHOCKING) conclusion : “THIS IS NORMAL!”

All of the situations listed above (and more!) can drive a person to feel like they will go NUTS!

Putting our own strengths aside, putting our own expectations aside, and trusting God are insanely HARD. It doesn’t matter. We will never know just how strong we are in HIM unless we give Him the chance to show His strength in us. God doesn’t promise to make things clear. He just wants us to TRUST HIM with every situation.

I want to share a passage from the Bible with you. It’s Psalms Chapter 3.

5 I laid me down and slept; I awaked; for the LORD sustained me.

David was in a world of hurt. People were rising up against him- even his own son.  Despite the circumstances engulfing his life at that moment, he decided to Trust God. He trusted God enough to lay down and rest- putting his life completely in God’s hands. (verse 4) Was David perfect? Absolutely not. Neither are we.

We are all in a different situation in life. We ALL have struggles, and trials we need to trust God with. Although we are all different, with different situations, God has some basic things in His word we should realize about our unique situations.

How to Handle the Nutty things in life:

1. Realize you Can’t handle the cRaZY alone! You need to remember God is with you.

Psalms Chapter 18 (Verses 1-15)

1 I will love thee, O LORD, my strength.2 The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower.

3 I will call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised: so shall I be saved from mine enemies.

6 In my distress I called upon the LORD, and cried unto my God: he heard my voice out of his temple, and my cry came before him, even into his ears.

God was so real to David. God was so Important to David! God was his Strength, His Rock, His Fortress, Deliverer, EVERYTHING! He trusted God completely. This is how God wants us to feel about HIM. God’s response to David feeling so Strongly about Him is amazing.

We read 7 Then the earth shook and trembled; the foundations also of the hills moved and were shaken, because he was wroth.

There went up a smoke out of his nostrils, coals were kindled by fire from His mouth. He came down with darkness under his feet. And he rode upon a cherub, and did fly.The LORD also thundered in the heavens, and the Highest gave his voice; hail stones and coals of fire. 14 Yea, he sent out his arrows, and scattered them; and he shot out lightnings, and discomfited them. 15 Then the channels of waters were seen, and the foundations of the world were discovered at thy rebuke, O LORD, at the blast of the breath of thy nostrils.

God protects His people. He definitely protected David here. He promises the same thing for us.

• Joshua 1:9 Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.

• Isaiah 41:10 Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.
• “The hand of God will never lead you where the GRACE of God cannot keep you. “

Despite David’s trials, God kept him safe. David remembered that God would be with him. We don’t have to face the craziness of our trials alone either.

2. Realize God has a plan for your life… despite the CraZY!

Psalms 18 (Continued verses 16- 20)

16 He sent from above, he took me, he drew me out of many waters.

17 He delivered me from my strong enemy, and from them which hated me: for they were too strong for me. 18 They prevented me in the day of my calamity: but the LORD was my stay.

David probably felt like he was drowning in life… God drew him out. God delivered him. God was his stay.

19 He brought me forth also into a large place; he delivered me, because he delighted in me.

God had amazing plans for David, and He has amazing plans for us! Remember, David was not perfect, but God delighted in Him. He delights in us, and has plans for us despite us feeling like we are drowning!

• Jeremiah 29:11-13 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.
• Jeremiah 33:3 Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.
• We don’t have to understand what God is doing, but we do have to trust what God is doing.
• Proverbs 3:5-6 - Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

• God allows hard times and trials to come into our lives for a reason. (I don’t think He’s trying to make us go crazy… The Crazy is what happens when we don’t focus on Him.)

3. Don’t focus on the CrAZy.

Psalms 18 (Continued again!)(verse 21-30)

• Verse 28- “For thou wilt light my candle”, God enlightens our darkness. We tend to focus on problems when we don’t know how to handle them, but that’s not what God wants.  He will show us His plans IN HIS TIME. Don’t focus on the things that drive us crazy. Allow God to work his wonders in every situation in our life! He can work miracles… and He wants you to trust Him.

• We’ve all heard the “Serenity Prayer” - “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference.”  -Reinhold Niebuhr
• There’s a lot of wisdom behind that quote…. We can’t always change the CRaZY we are surrounded by, but we can prevent some of our own personal Craziness by “accepting the things we cannot change”

• Some of the situations we are in CAN BE  changed or influenced by us. Sometimes, we are able to prevent some of the CRAZY by changing what drives us crazy. If you can change it, DO IT!  but if not.. oh well. Put it in God’s hands- like David did- and find comfort in Him.

• We’ve all heard the expression “There’s a silver lining in every cloud.”
• If you can’t change the bad- focus on the good.
• Numerous times in this passage, David is reminded of his Salvation…. If nothing else, at least we have that!
• John 16:33 These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.
• For every Crazy thing we may face… don’t let it get you down. Focus on the Good.. Focus on the LORD!

4. Don't actually Go cRAzY! Don’t go Nuts.

• “Sometimes, our biggest challenge is that we are trying to do too much while facing the very real limitations that accompany the different seasons of motherhood.“ - Mandy Arioto
• Sometimes, as hard as it may be, we have to say “NO” to other people, and their plans/ expectations for us so we can do what GOD wants us to do. and NOT go crazy.
• There’s only a couple people in the Bible who were crazy… It’s not a good thing to be crazy!
• the Maniac of Gadera- Legion - Nobody wanted to be around him. (I’m not bringing Legion up as an excuse so you can go crazy and have people leave you alone!) Crazy is not good.
• Kind David pretended to go crazy

Psalms 18 (Continued again! Verses 31-50)

God Gives us strength to do what we need to do.. in the Path He has for us. (vrs 32)

We always have our shield of salvation (vrs 35)

Through God’s gentleness, we can be great. We need to constantly claim it though. (35)

God doesn’t want us to falter, he makes our way clear for Us… if only one step at a time.

Don’t go crazy, Let God deliver you from all the trials/fears/ worries, etc that we have in life.

It’s OKAY if your life is not where you thought it would be.

It’s OKAY if your plans/ goals for yourself/ your family have not yet been hit.

God Promises us Victory in our lives- with His help. We need to actually- TRULY believe that He will help us, and then Trust Him!

Look around you- we are surrounded by other ladies, who literally feel like they will go crazy on a daily basis (myself included). Life is hard. Disappointments happen. Hurts happen.  We've got to stop being so hard on the other ladies around us. We've got to stop being so hard on ourselves. We’re all human. We all make mistakes. We've got to move on.  Our strengths and weaknesses were given to us for a reason: We all have a different purpose- accept it, embrace it, live it. Claim it.

Take one step at a time, one breath at a time if you need to. Let’s make it a point to DAILY encourage ourselves, as well as the other ladies. We all feel like we will go crazy on any given day/week. Encouraging other people will help you to be encouraged as well.